One year ago today I took my last dose of chemo. I bid farewell to cancer and started to move forward….
Or so I thought I did….
I never imagined after that day would be months of tears, days of sadness, hopelessness and fear. I never imagined that I would wish my cancer to come back. I could have never dreamt to be so afraid of the future, but I was. Cancer had become my reality. My appointments became my safety net. And when someone told me to go and live I felt paralyzed. I longed for cancer to return so that I could feel safe again. The world being cancer free overwhelmed me.
I didn’t know how to process it, discuss it or grieve it…
Over the last year, with a lot of patience, a lot of prayer, a lot of friends, a lot of family, counseling and some medicine I am so proud to be where I am today. I am proud to say it feels so good to be Living.
To be doing life.
May today meet you where you are at. May you have the patience to accept the story you never wanted and start living in the middle of it. Celebrate those near, honor those who have passed and be so proud of yourself. They say that life is a gift. What an honor it is to be given more days.
Thank you for celebrating with me. Happy One Year of being CANCER FREE.
“Therefore the Lord waits [expectantly] and longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed (happy, fortunate) are all those who long for Him [since He will never fail them].” – Isaiah 30:18