Category Archives: hope

First time visiting my blog?

Are you new here? Confused on my story? Where it begins, where it ends? Here is a little guide to help you find your way. I have highlighted a few of the posts that chronicle my journey. Hopefully a little easier to navigate: Diagnosis – The Day Mastectomy – Part 1 Surgery Find out that I would need Chemotherapy – Find thanks in the news you did not want to hear Chemotherapy Round 1 – He is Building a Palace Post Chemo Round 1 Reflections – Chemo Silence HairView full post »

Expectations and Disappointment

“If that remains my expectation, then I will surely be disappointed. But perhaps I can expect something else that is equally good, only different.” These words shared in a post made by Kara Tippets husband Jason here, regarding his place as a widower after the passing of his dear wife from Breast Cancer. I have continued to read his words over and over again. The notion that if my expectations remain such … then I will surely be disappointed. My expectation that I will comeView full post »

Cancer and Wedding Rings

“My roommates are over here getting engaged and I am just over here getting cancer.” I said that to coworkers this morning, laughing but it is the truth. My dear roommate and her wonderful ginger bearded boyfriend got engaged on the beach in Morocco this past week. Truly I am so very excited for them. They are two people that upon dating it was obvious they were each others person. I was fortunate to have them cook up my birthday dinner after my mastectomy. Anyone in attendance toView full post »

Let the healing begin

Friday morning shortly after I wrote, my mom and I got in the car to head to the hospital. (5:30 am) We were some of the very first people to check in. It was a bit strange having been to this hospital just six months ago for my mastectomy. The routine is the same.  The pre-op routine is the same, they ask my height, get my weight, check my vitals, and place the iv. However this time my plastic surgeon came in, so he could mark me. I stood up without my robe on, while he took his blue pen andView full post »

Surgery Today

Early morning here at almost 5:00 am. I am checking in to the hospital at 5:30 am and surgery begins at 7:30 am. I am so very grateful that this day is here and what should be my final surgery/ big step in my breast cancer journey is almost complete. I hope this finds you well, enjoying your Friday and please know that I cannot begin to express the love and support over the last seven months. Love KristinaView full post »

Stinks

I remembered this morning why walking into the cancer center alone is so very lonely. This morning I went to have my counts checked to get cleared before my scheduled surgery Friday. The usual…. the dreaded scale, the vitals, my temperature all checked. Shortly after I have to lay out my right arm, so the nurse can take my blood. All the same routine. As soon as she took vials of blood the nurse let me know that my oncologist wanted me to wait to see if my number came up before letting meView full post »

Grief

“That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had his hand in this, as well as friends. Still, I was bent, and my laughter, as the poet said, was nowhere to be found. Then said my friend Daniel, (brave even among lions), “It’s not the weight you carry but how you carry it – books, bricks, grief – it’s all in the way you embrace it, balance it, carry it when you cannot, and would not, put it down.” So I wentView full post »

Kara + Amy

My morning began with a shot in my arm and then I headed down south for the day. My vitals will not be taken until Monday so I am told to take it easy through the weekend while my blood counts rise. Yesterday I was feeling much better than even the days before so I am taking that as a positive sign that my counts are rising. It was a beautiful day yesterday. One that you want to bottle up and keep so you can have it for a another. It was eighty degrees in Colorado. Blue skies and big whiteView full post »

Most of the time it is hard

It has not always been good. This journey. Nor has it been easy. Most of the time truthfully, it is very hard. Most days I am tired. Tired of putting a hat on my head each time I leave the house, and if I have forgotten, the cool air atop my head reminds me. I am tired of endless appointments. There was a time when I complained about a week where I had a dentist appointment. One measly appointment would knock my week out of routine. And today…. I am lucky if a week only has twoView full post »