Finding Joy When You Least Expect It
Three months ago I had my last round of chemotherapy. While I am still sleeping a lot. I am starting to feel better each day. I am bike commuting half the week and I finally feel my body recovering. This is a short post just to highlight the one thing that is not a big deal but is TOTALLY A BIG DEAL, HAIR.
Below are pictures capturing the progress of my hair these days… I am getting excited for my Pixie Cut that is quickly coming in. My hair has really started to grow. If I do not showerView full post »
“If that remains my expectation, then I will surely be disappointed.
But perhaps I can expect something else that is equally good, only different.”
These words shared in a post made by Kara Tippets husband Jason here, regarding his place as a widower after the passing of his dear wife from Breast Cancer. I have continued to read his words over and over again. The notion that if my expectations remain such … then I will surely be disappointed.
My expectation that I will comeView full post »
One of the most common questions I am asked is how am I feeling?
Truthfully, right now, I am well. I am sun burnt from riding my road bike, and my legs are tired from a hike Erin and took Sunday in the mountains. My weekend was filled with good company, an early morning bike ride for coffee, music, good beer and yummy food. However I know that just as this weekend was good, moments are coming when I will not feel the same way. My emotions continue to ebb in flow just as the river flows andView full post »
They don’t warn you about how normal doing cancer will feel….
I was given a diagnosis. I was given a game plan to attack. Persevere. Be a Survivor. So I followed the game plan. And now I am told to move forward. That I am freed. That I am done.
What they failed to mention is that life post cancer is harder than doing life with cancer.
They also don’t tell you how quiet it gets. Or that you will feel like you have depleted all your resources of encouragement. They don’tView full post »
Seven months ago yesterday the dreaded phone call came to tell me that I had breast cancer. In many ways it seems like yesterday, in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago.
I so appreciate your kind words. Truthfully the week remains one of the more difficult weeks that I can remember. But I am trying, trying rather to allow my tears to flow, my heart to rest and my thoughts to swarm.
So many things have changed in the past seven months ….. some obvious and other things so miniscule thatView full post »
“Well this time next week you will have the best looking boobs in the gym.”
Those were the words I heard this morning as a group of women stood around me in the gym locker room asking if I was ready for my surgery next week.
The comment was then followed up with a question, “So like what cup size did you decide on?”
As though I took careful consideration into what size I wanted to be. As though this surgery is something that I asked for.
When conversations likeView full post »
It started. Saturday afternoon I got out of the shower and it started to fall. Gently. But it started. I ran my fingers through the back of my scalp and in the palm of my hand was my hair. I ran my fingers through again. More hair in my hands. My eyes began to fill with water and the reality started to weigh in, my hair was falling. The tears fell from my cheeks….
That evening I went to dinner with some of the dearest women to me. I got ready. Straightened my hair as more of it fell onView full post »
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