Bucket List

 

“Bucket lists seem so self-involved. I live with the joy of the snuggle today, the hope for kisses tomorrow, and the grace to see grace even when it’s hard.” – Kara Tippets

In my recent days of scrolling my Facebook or Instagram feed it seems more and more of people are climbing this supposed ladder of life. Always wanting, longing and wanting again for more. As though that one more thing, one more experience, one more purchase will provide for us in some way the next thing we need to get to the next place we want to go. Some deep place in my heart has told me that perhaps this is all wrong. That life is not meant to be lived in excess, or without rest, life is simply being present in your everyday.

So yes while I would love to see the Northern lights and walk the course at Augusta for the Masters with my dad, I long even more for nights of seeing the stars in my home of Colorado and better yet to find myself getting tips from my dad on a tee box in Kentucky. While yes the idea of skiing in the Swiss Alps seems magical and the thought of driving the coast of California while my hair flows from the roof of a convertible makes me smile, the sheer gift of getting to ski the same mountain that I have since I came to Colorado in my teens is enough and my faithful Subaru that gets me to and from my job beats any red mustang if you ask me.

All because the life I am given today is enough. It always has been.

I have always wanted more, always reexamined my life to find what was missing. But more recently I began to ask the question, what if nothing is missing? What if I am already made whole. What if this is the only job I ever have the rest of my life? What happens if I never see the Great Barrier Reef or hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon? Was my life full? Was it enough?

Kara Tippets writes this sentence “Sure I long for graduations, wedding days, and grandbabies with a giant part of my being, but I’m not angry if that isn’t given to me. For today, this day, I have ……..”

If I were to rewrite her sentence for myself it would read:

“Sure I long to get married, to have a family, to buy my first home with a giant part of my being, but I’m not angry if that isn’t given to me. For today, this day, I have….. a family that still makes me feel close even though I live far away. I have a job that I enjoy, a home that is warm to come home too and roommates that make being a single gal in Denver just a little bit more fun. I have a new found love for golf that I only wish I hadn’t waited so long to start, I have a blonde haired nephew that whole world seems to revolve around and I am ok with that. I have the joy of living in Colorado, a place that I love and mountains that I get to ski, climb and admire. I have hair to my shoulders again and god willing will be two years cancer free this March”

So that bucket list that is on this site, while those things all seem pretty incredible I would take these things written above over it all. Because my life today is enough and I am enough.

I encourage you to try to rewrite the sentence for yourself. Remind yourself of what you long for but don’t forget what you already have.

Sending all the best and love this new year to you.

Love Kristina

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