Cancer and Wedding Rings

“My roommates are over here getting engaged and I am just over here getting cancer.”

I said that to coworkers this morning, laughing but it is the truth.

My dear roommate and her wonderful ginger bearded boyfriend got engaged on the beach in Morocco this past week. Truly I am so very excited for them. They are two people that upon dating it was obvious they were each others person. I was fortunate to have them cook up my birthday dinner after my mastectomy. Anyone in attendance to that meal would tell you of what a five star meal it was. These two love others well and together will probably rock climb all over the world, serve incredible meals for others, share countless micro brews and bourbons all while sharing who Jesus is. I am truly overjoyed for them both.

Last night over our kitchen table she and I talked about the proposal and their wedding plans in the coming months…. I filled her in on how I am feeling, what is next for me and what the doctors said. The juxtaposition of our lives was very apparent to me. I was reminded that while the world is moving on, friends are dating, planning weddings, traveling, I am living in a very different day to day.

I simply just want to get to the next day and that is an accomplishment.

It is so easy for my mind to tell me of all the things I am not doing because of cancer. Or to allow my mind to start making a list of all the things I am not participating in, because of cancer?

But what a lie that it is to buy into that….

So I can and will delight in my roommates engagement, as will she encourage me in my recovery. She gets it. We both get it. The different places we are. The circumstances in our lives at this time that allow us to celebrate as well as to grieve.

There is great freedom in her friendship. In allowing me to share, in getting to listen to her plans, her excitement….. and in receiving her prayers as I continue to recover.  The other thing I realized is that I am recovering and that takes some time. A lot more time than I had thought. But in that time it is a lot of fun to celebrate others joys.

Cancer tends to be so “me” focused that it is so nice sometimes to just hear about what is happening in others lives.

I am suffering from a cold which is crummy. Overall my appointments went well yesterday. I am healing well, some minor pain but overall lots of sleeping (more like attempts to sleep), horrible hot flashes, lots of movies and night sweats. My finger nails are going bye bye…. as in they are dead. I am just waiting for them to fall off now.

I am pleased to report though that I am no longer fighting the down time, I am embracing it.

If you need any reviews on cheesy Netflix chick flick movies… I am your girl. I have watched about 7 in the past week. 🙂

Happy Wednesday everyone
Love Kristina

*** Picture taken at the Cancer Center yesterday, covering up my cold to keep from others getting sick.

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