The title of this post may be a bit strange but I can assure you I have a full explanation for it.
I think God is using one of my kids to teach me how love works. What it means to love unconditionally. What it means to love with no bounds, with no expectations, not tangled up in an agenda or expectation but loving without any expectation of something coming in return. Loving purely because we are all his children and we all deserve to be loved fully and wholly. Loving because each person is made in the image of the most high king and father. Love with patience. Love boldly and intentionally. Love not because you chose do so, but because he has simply beckoned us to do so.
If I am honest, I do not like it. It is hard. I get angry. This child does not listen, does everything that I ask him not too. He will not sit down for anything. He laughs at discipline and thinks throwing things is funny. There are days, most days actually that I would rather send him out of class then deal with him. There are days that are the best because he is not in class. There are days that he is jumping off his chair and I would not be upset if he got hurt. He gets under your skin and is defiant. He is disruptive and difficult.
But if I am even more honest with myself I know what I am to do……
The more he pushes. Push back with love. Demonstrate through my actions that I have not given up on him. That he matters to me. That I care about the man he is growing up to be. That I want him to learn. That I do not want him to get hurt. Tell him that I care. That I truly deep down love him……. I love him just because the father loved us first and that is it.
It is that simple.